Those who know me very well know that I have problems with my self-confidence. What is often hidden behind the curtain is that I have problems with my consistency- it's not that I can't do a task, but I have trouble doing it consistently. Occasionally, I have flashes of brilliance, but I almost always regress. It's a bad cycle: I have trouble with my self-confidence because, a lot of the time, I don't inspire confidence in others. How can you believe in others if others have trouble believing in you? I get sad and frustrated when I don't reward their faith in me. I'm not even saying that I don't deserve it. Oftentimes, I do. Sometimes, I feel like a child in a man's body. And I don't answer back, because it's usually a losing proposition anyway. If only I were braver.
Anyway, I won't go on about this, but forgive me if I haven't always acted like an adult. I'm sorry.
Sleep well.
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